35 days until 35

I'm almost 35. My sweet friend Paige had a great idea to celebrate her 35th birthday (which is just 19 days before mine) and I'm going to follow suit and copy her!

She did a campaign to raise $3,500 in 35 days to buy beds and mattresses for the kids she works with in India. She's halfway to her goal and no doubt, all the kids will be off the floor by her big day! Yay!

So, I am going to do a campaign to raise $3,500 in 35 days for school supplies and
uniforms for $50 per child (includes 2 uniforms, 2 shoes, 3 socks, school bag, pens and pencils). If I reach my goal of $3,500, 70 children will receive the school supplies they need to succeed!

So, if you know me (or don't) and want to celebrate my birthday with a gift, please consider making a donation to Covenant Children's Homes (a ministry of India Christian Ministries)! That will be the best gift I can imagine...

To give a gift of school supplies, click the PayPal link below:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=YTQTXCQNL7BX6

To learn more about the kids at Covenant Children's Home, visit:
http://www.cch-india.com/
and
http://www.facebook.com/covenantchildrenshomesindia

Merry Christmas!

The Heart of the Matter

Yesterday, I was sitting by my Christmas tree, drinking my pumpkin spice coffee and looking at Pinterest on my phone. Lots of happy holiday pins, yummy recipes. And then this:

My heart drops. Tears sting my eyes. All I can think is "I need to hold this baby." God loves this beautiful baby. He designed this precious one in its mother's womb. I clicked on the link to see what I could do. It lead nowhere. "What can I do, Jesus?" I've always had a hard time with the doing. Feeling - check. Thinking - on it. Doing... not my strong suit. But I am compelled. I can't sit in my comfortable home worrying about bills and baby weight and Christmas lists and not do something. I don't want to live that way anymore.

I'm clinging desperately to the revelation that God gave Heidi Baker - that "there is always enough" of Him. Of his love. But when I see this picture and all that it represents, the darkness seems so big. I know I have to get lost in the heart of God to find the answer to my problem of inactivity. I can get really extreme when I see something so heartbreaking. I'm never going out to eat again. I will not buy anything that I don't need. And, I probably could pull this off, if I was committed enough. But, to miss God's goodness in things is to miss the point. He's good! He had to change Heidi's heart about cheese and warm baths. Those things aren't bad. Enjoying those things aren't bad. Even if her kids in Mozambique don't get to! He's a good Father who loves to give LAVISHLY all things to enjoy. Thankfullness is key to celebrating and receiving his goodness and it doesn't nullify the pain and suffering. I am learning this. Jesus, help me to learn my part in being your love manifest to those who are most in need.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 2: 15-16

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed, " but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?

My, How We've Grown

Gentzkows, Whitings, Hauns, Glessners, Zakaryans, Barnetts, Freijos

I love my sweet college roommates and all the people that go with them! Our yearly "staycation" has been established since the season of weddings has concluded and it is one of my favorite trips we take. Our original 7-person apartment has turned into 23 people in just 12 short years :) And more to come! Love it! We enjoyed Kim's parents' house, wonderful food and fabulous company. I must say, we have some beautiful kids...

Granger Is 8 Months Old

This guy got sick for the first time and he is not a fan! Thankfully, he's still cute and snuggly. He's crawling and cruising and really wanting to walk! Watch out, Jetty! Here he comes...

Granger Is 7 Months Old

We had to borrow Asher Bean's chair since we were in California for his 7 month birthday! Such a happy way to celebrate this happy guy. He's working on more teeth, he's sleeping in the closet in the guest room like a champ and he loves swimming with all the friends we have here!

Whitings in Texas

We love the Whitings... and they love us!

Paige and Sean came for an unexpected visit from India! The last time they were in town was in January, before Granger's arrival. We were thrilled to have them and introduce them to our newest family member. They flew in from Thailand and had lots of fundraising to get set up in their month-long whirlwind tour of the states, but we definitely enjoyed them to the fullest! What amazing people doing amazing things in a part of the world that needs Jesus' love so much! I'm very thankful for our friendship and for our time together. Check out their work at http://www.covenantchildrenshomes.com/

Camp Davis '12

Annual Camp Davis Family Photo

There are few places on earth I love as much as this one. I love the sounds, the smells, the cool mountain air, the yummy food, the people. And now, I get to share these loves with my man and my boys. SO FUN! A dream come true, really. I am very thankful for the extended time visiting with Cami this year. I miss her when she's in Indiana! And getting to see Jett, Jackson and Granger all together just makes my heart happy.

Cousins

Beau reading Jett a story

Nick holding Granger

What would we do without our families nearby? Very thankful for all our cousins who love us and play with us and make our lives richer. Beau is one of Jett's very favorite people - and how could he not be?! I mean, Beau is just fun and funny. Nick has been working hard this summer! He lives at mom's house, so we are glad we get to see him more frequently.

My Biggest Brother

Kevin went to be with Jesus. We don't know the cause of his passing, but we rejoice that he is whole, healed, rejoicing and worshiping. He was an amazing guy and the celebration of who he was really blessed me. It was so nice to hear other people's stories about him, so healing to laugh and cry and grieve all at once. Kevin was 17 when I was born and he liked to carry me around on his big shoulders and call me "Chinooks." He called me that on Mother's Day, which was the last time I saw him. I will miss him. I will miss hearing his loud, creative harmonies in worship. I will miss hearing his occasional calls, asking me how Casey and Nutt were. I'm not sure how he got Nutt from Jett, but that's what he thought his name was about half the time. And it made me smile. I love you, Kevin. I look forward to singing with you again some day.

Galveston, Once Again!

We love the beach! We love Galveston Beach with the Hauns! We are so thankful for our trip this year, as it has been 4 years since we last got to be there together. We've never gone with our children! It was so fun and so tiring :) But Jett and Granger did great!

Sadly, the trip ended with a call from my mom that my brother Kevin had unexpectedly passed away in the night. We were sad to leave such a fun trip for such a sad occasion, but thankful that we had a week of relative rest and relaxation before we headed into the rigorous, emotional funeral planning and grief process.

Breast Feeding and Potty Training

Yep. That's what I've been up to lately. Happily working with my new son on eating and with my oldest son on losing the diapers.

Granger eats like a champ and even still, breast feeding has been difficult! It's a really complicated process and while I knew that was true, experiencing it has been a challenge. I thought that it would be a lot easier than nursing Jett with the nursing trainers, but not so! Thankfully, I'm surrounded by people who are happy to help and so I've been very supported in my journey. Granger weighs 13 lbs at 7 weeks (Jett weighs 25 and he'll be 3 next week!), so despite any difficulties we've faced, he's - not surprisingly, knowing his parents - excelling.

Jett is doing great in his new task. It has not been without incident, however. Namely, he cleared his Sunday School class when he forgot to tell his teachers before the poop happened, rather than after. Poor teachers had to move all the other kids to a new classroom and scrub the CARPET. I was not at church that day, so chalk that one up to Daddy. Additionally, Jett has been given the job of "picking up poop" in our backyard (because Casey ordered a pooper scooper on Amazon and didn't note the dimensions - it is a miniature one, just Jett's size. Handy!). He was happily doing his chore outside the other morning when I stuck my head out the door and saw him under the trampoline, pants at his ankles, pooper scooper in hand. "I pooped in the grass!" he enthusiastically exclaimed. "I'm picking up poop" he uttered in his next breath. Oh, boy. Of course, Casey has already taught him about peeing in the grass, so this is the logical next step to a little boy. Unfortunately, it is not nearly as neat. Ahem.

So, sorry I didn't get pictures, but my hands have been full of... well, full.

I am really happy to be home with these two precious boys and I'm enjoying even the messiness. It really is a good thing they're so cute :O) God knew.

A Year

One year ago, I was miscarrying my first pregnancy. Today, I am holding a sweet, snuggly, warm baby boy that I had the privilege of carrying inside for 39 weeks. So much can change in one year! When I reflect on the miscarriage, I still don't have a good reason why it happened, and I still feel sad that it did. But I am grateful that I didn't have to wait a long time before I was pregnant again and that God is good and works ALL things for my good. And I'm overjoyed to have Granger Kenway as part of our family. He's one month old today and he is so cute. I'm in love all over again :)

Granger Kenway Haun Arrives

Wow! What a day... It goes like this:

The night before the big day, I was only still having Braxton Hicks contractions, so between prayers and declarations to my body and baby to come, I was dealing with some disappointment. I really didn't want to induce - I really wanted to go into labor on my own and do the whole birthing experience naturally. Jett spent the night with Honey and Tatu and we finished getting ready for our hospital stay.

We checked into the hospital at 5 AM and they started my pitocin drip around 5:30. Mom met us there at 5 and Jen came around 6. It was great to have people we love with us. More friends and family came throughout the day and I was so grateful. I think the hardest part of the day was that I was SO HUNGRY! But we had great worship music playing all day, which was awesome. I labored until 3, trying to move by my bedside without moving the monitors and making the nurses come in to find baby's heartbeat. My pain level was at a 5, I was dilated to 6 cm, 70% effaced and stuck there for 4 hours. Granger's heart rate was fine, but there were some signs that concerned Heather, so we decided to get an epidural to see if that would move things along. It didn't.

I did not care for the effects of the epidural - I preferred the contractions! Since nothing changed, we decided to go ahead with the C-section. They gave me WAY TOO MUCH medication in my epidural and I was essentially out (despite my best attempts and protests) for the surgery and Granger's arrival. Casey and others have had to fill me in. I just remember that I kept saying "I can't keep my eyes open. I really want to."

He arrived at 7:54 PM and he was 21" long and 8lbs 7 oz. He looks like both of us, but he looks more like my baby pictures to me. He nursed great, even though I was OUT!

I am very grateful that Kim flew out from California to stay with us and she arrived just in time to see Granger as he made his debut in the hospital nursery :) It was awesome to have her and Jen looking out for us in addition to our parents, family and friends. Thanks, y'all!

Casey sprang for the Luxury Suite in the hospital, since he had to spend his once-every-four-years birthday there, and we quite enjoyed it! We had 2 dozen Sprinkles cupcakes to celebrate our Leap Day babies. I stopped being sleepy enough to scratch myself silly (after effects from the epidural).

As expected, not all the details were our "ideal" but at the end of the day, we held a beautiful, healthy baby and that's all we REALLY wanted. Thank you, Jesus, for all of the answers to so many prayers. So glad to have gotten the privilege of this day.

Due Date

Well, no baby on his due date. But I've really been preparing myself for that since I found out I was pregnant... We saw Heather, my midwife, today and scheduled an induction for 5 AM on Wednesday, February 29th. She is out of town this weekend, so I'm hoping that he comes on his own, but not before Sunday - I'd really like for her to deliver him. I'm not really having any signs of labor other than Braxton Hicks contractions, but I'm dilated 1 1/2 cm and 70% effaced, so that's "favorable." Thankfully, Jesus knows all of this and has every detail in his loving hands :)

We've had a fun, beautiful, springy day! We all wore shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops and spent at least 2 hours outside. We had a picnic with the Goars and they stayed with Jett at the park while Casey and I went to see Heather. We ate Italian Ice/Frozen Custard at Rita's after the appointment and then said goodbye to our sweet friends. Sadly, both Casey and Jett are sick with upper respiratory infections :( Praying that they are all well when Granger arrives and that I remain well throughout the duration!! Jett watched a lot of shows since he wasn't feeling well, Casey got some work done and I got a manicure and pedicure so I can have pretty nails for the big day (thank you, Paige and Sean!).

Planning to go to the Ladies' Retreat at Sojourn this weekend and looking forward to it. Waiting...

A New Chapter

Well, we're getting close to our transition from a family of 3 to a family of 4. It's hard to believe that my due date is just 4 days away... We're thinking baby Granger may take his sweet time, though. And, who knows? Maybe he'll come on his Daddy's 9th birthday :)

I'm feeling good and just taking in these last days of Jetty being our only child. He is such a delight to my heart and this stage is so much fun. He makes me laugh and smile hourly (at least) with his dancing and singing and book reading and playing and working and interacting with people. He is such a flirt and it's so funny and cute.

It has been such a blessing to have the long-awaited pregnancy that I've hoped and prayed for and to have such grace on it. I am really not uncomfortable or sleeping poorly or miserable in any way. I'm mostly just thankful to have this sweet baby bumping around inside me and reminding me how faithful God is. It has been like God told me - every day is a gift. It hasn't been completely symptom free, but easy and enjoyable enough for me to know how blessed I am!

Looking forward to how "the birth story" will take place. I don't feel nervous, just curious. I'm not in a hurry, but I am thankful that I'll get to have that experience soon. Not having my own birth story has been one of the hardest parts for me in relating to other moms - it's very much a rite of passage I have wanted and been missing for a long time. I'm grateful to have been a part of 4 (almost 5 - wasn't fast enough for that last one!) birth stories, but looking forward to experiencing it myself.

Thinking of all the lovely ladies I've had the privilege to walk with through the same kind of waiting season and praying that they'll get to feel what I feel right now. Thinking of all the people who have prayed with us and for us (friends, family, strangers) and how God is answering a lot of prayers with one little person. Thinking of who this baby will look like and how he'll nurse and how he'll sleep and how Jett will adjust to being a big brother. Imagining it will be harder and more rewarding than I can get my mind around...

Feeling full. Humbled. Happy. Round. Tired (the good kind). Hopeful.

Here is a little comparison photo: 1 month vs. 9 months:

Here's one of Jett's first moments on the outside captured by our friend Beth:

Can't wait to have a little one that small to love on so soon.